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DT's Dungeon of Horrors!!! =O Oh and it's a blog too....(PG-13 for swearing)


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DarkToph
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« Reply #4830 on: January 27, 2018, 02:03:48 pm »

180 – The Grass Route: Nice episode pun that makes no sense, 4Kids. Also, depending on how you pronounce ‘route’ it makes doubly less sense. Another episode I feel like I should remember, but don’t. Sounds like Ash is an unlikable ass in it, by the plot synopsis, though, so wheee!

- Oh yeah, Skiploom is ridiculous sounding. I know it’s its Japanese voice, but still.

- He recognizes it as a Skiploom – still ‘dexes it.

- Skiploom is one of those Pokemon where I greatly prefer its pre-evo. It’s just...kinda ugly to me.

- *Skiploom happily skipping through field*

Ash - “Looks like it’s in a hurry.” *enter theme song* That was pre-theme song cliffhanger worthy.

- This kid named his Skiploom ‘Skippy’ That’s like nicknaming your gerbil ‘Gerby’

- Ephraim: “Ash, are you going to be the one to challenge the Ecruteak Gym Leader?” Why can’t they all be challenging him?

- I just realized, they’ve gotten nearly 200 episodes of mileage out of that constantly recycled shot of Ash throwing a Pokeball with his hat backwards.

- Oh goody, so not only is Ash getting his ego fed today, but so is Chikorita. Yay.

- Ash: “Yay! We did it!”

Misty: “I wouldn’t be proud of what you did. I’d be ashamed of myself if I was you!”

Brock: “Just look there!”

*shows the knocked out Skiploom being tended to by Ephraim*

Ash: “Sorry, Skiploom. I guess we got carried away.”

I. Don’t. Get. It.

It was a normal Pokemon battle. At no point does this seem anymore over the top than any other match. In fact, it’s damn near tame to a degree. Chikorita finished it off with a Tackle, of all things. Friggin’ Tackle! Oh, sorry, was that LEVEL 1 TRAINING WHEEL move from a Chikorita too much for you, Skiploom?

And blow it out your ass, Misty. If Ash felt ashamed for every match that ended with him knocking down a Pokemon with one of his Pokemon…..he’d need to quit being a Pokemon trainer because THAT’S WHAT THEY DO. He has done far, far, far worse and you were never getting out the soap box for those times.

It doesn’t help that Skiploom is disproportionate in this episode. Chikorita is supposed to be almost a full foot taller than Skiploom, but Skiploom looks like it’s a few inches taller and way wider than Chikorita. I had to double-check the stats on that because it seemed ridiculous to me that Ash was saying Skiploom was too little for its Tackle to be effective when it’s clearly bigger. I would’ve said it’s way too light for the Tackle to work, considering it only weighs a little over two pounds.

- Ephraim: “But Ash showed me how an elite trainer handles Pokemon.” Please don’t feed the ego.

- Ephraim’s Dad: “I’m sure you and Skippy learned a lot from battling an elite trainer, like Ash.” Stahp.

- Ash: “I do what I can to help the kids!” He’s about the same age as you. Shut up.

- Ash: “Afterall, I am in the Orange League Hall of Fame” Wow, crack out that accomplishment once every 50 episodes.

“So winning a little local tournament like this should be easy!” Remember your only official non-prelim Indigo League match and how embarrassingly you lost and then enjoy the fall from your high horse, DumbAsh.

That line really should’ve been followed by Ephraim and his family looking a little insulted. He basically said ‘I’ve already won one sorta-kinda-championship thinger in a place no one cares about, so these backwoods Grass-type hicks should be easy to beat!’

- Nothing like having plot devices literally delivered on the breeze into the characters faces. (James has the Grass Pokemon Tournament flier suddenly fly into his face.)

- Misty: “Ash, when are you and Bulbasaur going to start training for the tournament?”

Ash: “We don’t have to train. This isn’t a major competition.” Yeah, because if it was a major competition, it wouldn’t matter if you trained or not, you’d still lose. https://i.imgur.com/75yctoF.gif

“It’s gonna be a breeze! I’m gonna check out the flowers. Call me when dinner’s ready, kay?”

Look, I get it. Ash’s ego is a plot point in this episode. Hubris and all that. He’ll get his just desserts later on. However, that doesn’t mean he’s any less obnoxious right now nor does it mean he’ll ever learn anything. Ash is so easily ego-stroked you could say he did a good job washing the dishes and he’d fling his nose up in the air declaring himself a dish master.

And despite my last note being a joke, he doesn’t deserve to have this ego because he really hasn’t won a major tournament ever. The Orange League DOES NOT COUNT because it’s not a tournament. It’s a league where you only need four badges to get in, and the method of obtaining the badges is usually not even battling. The league itself is a match against one trainer. By definition, a tournament is “(in a sport or game) a series of contests between a number of competitors, who compete for an overall prize.” One is indeed a number, but competitors means more than one. And one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. Two can be as bad as one. It’s loneliest number since the number one.

It’s annoying when characters get egos, but at least those characters usually have something to back it up. They’re OP, they’re champions, they’re undefeated, etc. Ash only has the Orange League victory under his belt, and that’s really not much to get all cocky over, especially when the last tournament he was in before that, the Indigo League, ended with him losing in an embarrassing manner all because, wait for it…..he didn’t train his Pokemon.

Hercule from DBZ has more reason to be cocky than Ash does.

You know what would’ve been a better episode? The CotD being the cocky “I don’t need to train” **** and Ash showing him that stepping off the high horse every now and then and actually working for achievements is the way to go. Perhaps he could bring up how his overconfidence led to his embarrassing failure in the Indigo League to show that he’s actually learning. Maybe even have Ash lose too, but beat the CotD so he can explain that he learns from his defeats like he does his victories.

But why have continuous character development when you can have this crap?

- Misty: “Wow, Brock. That’s confidence.” No, that’s arrogance. Confidence would be getting excited about possibly winning after at least doing some training. Flippantly saying you’ll definitely win some rinky dink little local tournament because you’re so great is arrogance. Misty seems OOC here to not call out Ash on his narcissism since she has been more than happy to do that since she met him, even in times when he’s not being that cocky.

- Holy crap—how is this a little rinky dink local tournament if they have their own stadium?

- I know you could just sell them, but why would anyone need that many Leaf Stones? There’s gotta be at least 20 in there.

- Wait….Meowth is dressed up as Sunflora…..I feel like we’ve done this before….(we have. They even recycled the outfit.)

- Ash: “Well, it’s just what I expected, Bulbasaur. No competition for us!” You’re literally just standing in a room with the other Pokemon. You have no idea how powerful they are until you actually fight them. Let me remind you, again, of an embarrassing Indigo League match. It involved you in a similar situation, a Grass field, fighting a Bellsprout, which you said was basically a pushover, until it easily defeated Bulbasaur and took down Messiahchu….with a kick to the head.

- Announcer: “This youngster reportedly did quite well in his first trip to the Indigo Plateau, so he’s expected to put on a strong showing here today.” Oh come on, even the announcer’s feeding his ego? Notice he doesn’t mention the Orange League victory. Because no one gives a shit.
[/size]
Also, I’m waiting for the day when some announcer’s like ‘This is the same dumbass who released an untrained Charizard at the Indigo Plateau and made an idiot out of himself.’

- What hell is wrong with Pikachu in this shot?



He looks like a doll.

- Brock: “I hate to say it, Misty, but maybe there’s something to that cocky new attitude Ash has lately.” Wha—NO! Don’t say something like that! Do you want to breed a generation of cocky stupid assholes?

Also, “new”? Where have you been the past 180 episodes?

- Ephraim’s dad: “Our boy, Ephraim’s, match is coming up next, Dear.” That line is so awkward. Either say ‘our boy’ or ‘Ephraim’ She’s his mother, you don’t need to elaborate on who you mean when you say ‘our boy.’

- I don’t care if it’s stupid, I still get a kick out of Meowth saying ‘Sunflora-flora!’

- Now that I think about it, screw the financial aspects of this small community having a stadium. Let’s talk about the fact that this place is filled with people. Either this tournament attracts way more people than they’re letting on or the local communities are massive.

- I’m surprised they don’t cut to Ash during Ephraim’s match saying something like ‘Pft, if this were me, I’d have won by now. But we can’t all be me.’

- Leech Seed always seems insanely OP whenever it’s used. It immobilizes the target AND drains them of their energy. It’s basically an instant KO whenever it’s used in the anime.

- The Double Team at the end was entirely pointless other than to keep showing us that Skiploom’s really fast. Who uses a speed enhancement move against a Pokemon who is immobilized anyway?

- Announcer: “And now for first round winner, Ash Ketchum’s, second matchup.”

Ash: “Hahah! That guy should’ve said ‘second victory!’” Tone it down, for the love of God. This is obnoxious even for Ash.

- Announcer: “And now, making her way into the arena, Ketchum’s opponent, the mysterious beauty known only as Eissej!”

Misty: “Hey Brock, how do they know if she’s a beauty if she’s wearing a veil over her face?” Hey, stop asking questions I’m supposed to ask!

- This is another stupid-ass official contest where no one bothers to even look at the entrants before starting. Again, Meowth has tape and cardboard all over him and he’s clearly holding those leaves with his paws.

- Ash: “That Sunflora looks pretty puny. This match should be like a walk in the park to us, Bulbasaur!” Oh god, we get it! You’re cocky! Shut up!

And while we can’t understand what Bulbasaur’s saying, stop agreeing with him, Bulbasaur.

- More official bullshit – they should be disqualifying Meowflora for using an illegal move since Sunflora cannot learn Scratch or Fury Swipes.

I could’ve sworn they pretended to use real Grass type moves when he last dressed as a Sunflora. Why are they ruining their cover like this? At least have code words for attacks so you can pretend. Instead of telling him to Scratch, tell him to use Razor Leaf and then he’ll use Scratch and pretend it’s Razor Leaf. There have been non-projectile Razor Leafs before.

- Announcer: “Bulbasaur’s having a tough time against Sunflora’s unconventional attacks!” You’re a complete dumbass. What the hell is the ref doing? Obvious rule-breaking, hello?

- I doubt one Vine Whip has the power to blast Team Rocket off.

- This tournament seems kinda stupid. If you are only allowed one Pokemon for the entire tournament, surely they’d be exhausted by the time the finals roll around.

- From the clips, it seems like Skiploom has been winning all of its matches with Double Team and Leech Seed….

- Misty: “Who do you think is going to win this match, Brock?”

Brock: “Ash and Bulbasaur definitely have more experience and ability. But I’m not sure they realize how much tougher Ephraim and Skiploom have gotten, and how much they want to win this.”

Look, we all know Ash will lose because he has to for us to get the moral, but you really think one night of training is enough to win when he had no chance before? I have more to cover/rant on this, but let’s wait until the match is over.

- Ephraim’s Dad: “Ash is just too good. I guess our son’s winning streak is finally over.” Fuck you. Both for your Ash ego-stroking and your lack of faith in your son. Just **** you.

- Brock noticed that Skiploom was storing energy for a Solar Beam when he was that far away, but Ash failed to notice it. Moron.

- Alright, rant time again. Skiploom hasn’t been able to land a single attack on Bulbasaur this entire time, but one Solar Beam and a Tackle that Ash was just saying was weak because Skiploom’s so ‘small’ and he’s down for the count? Why didn’t Ash ever call for a Solar Beam during the course of this entire tournament?

I feel like this is another example of Bulbasaur getting the short end of the Grass type stick on Ash’s team. Chikorita was able to easily defeat Skiploom earlier, but Bulbasaur loses here. By all intents and purposes, Bulbasaur has a major experience and level advantage over Chikorita yet it’s the one who lost against Skiploom.

This would’ve made much more sense if the roles were reversed. Have Bulbasaur be the one to easily defeat Skiploom because it is much higher level with more skill and experience. Then have Ash use Chikorita in the tournament and lose more understandably because Chikorita is much lower level than his Bulbasaur and now Skiploom has more training under its belt when Ash figured he’d be perfectly fine to neglect training.

Despite his cockiness, Ash kinda had a point that he shouldn’t really have needed to train with Bulbasaur outside of maybe a warmup or so because Bulbasaur is very high level right now. I’d dare wager a guess that he’s at least level 90 or nearing 100. However, Chikorita is still fairly new to his team and low level. He would’ve benefited quite a bit from some tough training with it. But why do that and make a new Johto starter look weak when you can make it look awesome and have Bulbasaur get its ass handed to it?

- Announcer: “First time trainer, Ephraim, defeats the powerful Ash Ketchum….” Still? Even after he lost? And HE’S not powerful. His Pokemon are.

- Who designed that ‘Winner’ sign? It’s awful.



- Narrator: “But Ash has learned and important lesson – Pride comes before a fall. That’s a lesson he’ll remember when he finally gets to Ecruteak City.” Sure he will.

This episode was just poorly written. It’s predictable as hell from the get-go, it’s chock full of cocky Ash, it has numerous points of nonsense in the logic and it’s teaching some of the most cliché lessons in history. They’re good lessons, sure. Don’t be a stuck up dick whistle and hard work pays off in the end. However, even for a kid’s show, these lessons are very obvious and tired. They’re also lessons Pokemon has taught many times over by now.

I’m still miffed that Chikorita keeps getting made off like it’s better than Bulbasaur and they didn’t even really focus on anything that made Skiploom special. All they focused on was its Double Team and when it learned Solar Beam.  Then again, Skiploom is a pretty boring Pokemon, so I don’t know what I expected.

Next episode, a Pokemon I find pointless and a title pun that makes me want to punch my computer screen.
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« Reply #4831 on: March 30, 2018, 06:01:40 pm »

Well, my birthday wouldn't be my birthday unless my sister calls and makes me burst into tears. I really thought I had gotten away with her not calling this year. She didn't even send a card or anything (Not even an E-card), but she called and I was obligated to pick up and she just went for the throat after about three sentences. I won't go into details about the convo now because I'm still just reeling. Let's just say my sister is ungodly condescending and has an innate ability to make you feel like complete trash in a paragraph. I always feel like garbage on my birthday. I haven't felt excited or happy about my birthday in god knows how long. I believe in my cursed birthday. Horrible weather, shitty time of year, I'm almost always sick and I tend to have bad luck on it (Stepped in dog poop that morning, as an example.) And all it does is remind me of all the thoughts about myself that make it a chore to get out of bed every morning. I can never dodge her birthday calls because it's the one call from her that my mother makes me take, even though it's my birthday and if there's one day I should be given a 'get out of call free' card, it's that day. Not kidding, my birthday wish this year was for her not to call. It didn't work. Fuckin' lying candles.

I can usually make her go away by keeping my thoughts to myself and just giving short replies. I don't want to say anything she can warp and relay to my mother later, making me look bad, or make her upset because my mother wants us to get along. Eventually, there's a break of silence and I'll say 'I have to do (something), so I gotta go.' but not this time. She was on a war path, and she kept hitting the pressure points like a damn ninja. I still wasn't saying anything that bad to her, but I was starting to raise my voice.

After giving myself an ulcer trying not to yell out in rage and finally rip into her after 10 years of shutting my face (I was literally shaking in anger after about three minutes) and doing my best to stay civil, my mom takes the phone and after a minute of silence I hear her SCREAMING at my sister for another few minutes. She comes down the stairs, slams the phone down and tells us that we won't have to worry about her calling for a while. I couldn't understand what she was saying, but she laid into her.

Apparently, my near homeless, divorced, dumpster fire of a sister started harassing my mom next, claiming she's a bad mother for how I turned out and I'm not living in the real world. She criticized her on how much money she makes, even bragging that Otto earns more than her (Why the fuck does that even apply? 1) He's your ex-husband, 2) Even when they were married, she never saw a penny of his money because he was a dick who never paid for damn near anything in the house. 3) That's still pointless to point out either way because who gives a fuck what someone else makes?) and stating that, essentially, my mother's ashamed of me. She also criticized my dad because he's unable to work due to health issues.

My mom usually doesn't yell at her. She tries to keep her cool and not blow up because she doesn't want to risk burning bridges. However, she was lit up this time. We heard her all the way downstairs. I think I even heard her stamp her feet.

So while I may have spent a good ten minutes sobbing on my birthday, I at least got the birthday gift of knowing my sister got rightfully chewed out for a change. I only wish she hadn't dragged my parents along with me. I don't know what the hell goes on in that retarded cunt's head, but now I've blocked her email address and I have full rights to not pick up the phone if she ever does call. Happy birthday to me.
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« Reply #4832 on: April 01, 2018, 10:14:29 am »

Dang, that sounds really shitty. Hope it gets better for you.
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« Reply #4833 on: April 26, 2018, 11:59:30 pm »

181 – The Apple Corp! Before I begin, I want to make a prediction. I will hate this episode. Why? Few things.

1) That is already one of the more enraging titles I’ve seen in Pokemon. It’s a groan-worthy pun of Nice Pryce Baby levels.

2) The title is made even worse by the fact that it has a typo that makes this stupid pun not even work. In order to make that sound like ‘core’ you need to spell it ‘corps.’ The way it’s spelled here sounds like you’re referencing Apple the corporation. It’s not even a title card error, either. That is the official title.

3) Pichu are a focal part of this episode and, for some reason, I have now grown to hate Pichu. Not to mention the fact that it sounds like the Pichu in this episode, like so many Pichu, are annoying little brats.

- I’ve been to several orchards in my life. I go apple picking nearly every week in fall. I’ve never been able to smell one from far away. Even closeup there’s barely any apple smell, unless they’re cutting open the apples or there are a lot of drops.

- I love how discovering an orchard in the forest is worth a theme song prompt.

- Oh good! The CotD today is voiced by Lisa Ortiz! Just keep piling it on. Eventually I’ll lose all hope for this episode.

- Ash cleared Pikachu’s name with what was basically dental forensics……..This is Ash Ketchum, right? DumbAsh?

- Her name is Charmaine? It’s irrational, but that annoys me too.

- I know I mentioned this in my Pikachu and Pichu review, but Pichu really are useless little Pokemon if they can’t pull off a successful electric attack without damaging themselves.

- This Fearow is taking an inordinate amount of time to complete his attack.

- Why was it even attacking the Pichu anyway? Was it planning on eating them?

- *The Pichu all have growling stomachs* Brock: “It looks like Pichu haven’t eaten for quite a while.”

Hmbullshit.

The start of this plot was ‘who is stealing all of the apples?’ And we found out that the Pichu were the ones stealing AND EATING them. Some of them might be hungry, but most of these Pichu should have full stomachs. They’re tiny little mice. The apples are almost as big as they are, and they eat them incredibly quickly. I’m quite certain they’ve been well-fed for a while now.

- I doubt this group of maybe 15 Pichu would realistically be a threat to this massive orchard. They could probably live on one or two tree’s worth of apples for quite a long time. If they ate enough apples to truly threaten her apple crop, they’d probably have their stomachs explode from the sheer amount of apples they’d be trying to process. Pichu aren’t known for being little pigs, even if they are mice, so why is this the best plot they can come up with for Pichu’s technical debut? Isn’t this the type of plot usually relegated to Snorlax?

- This is a big nitpick, but these apples look way too big. They’re damn near the size of cantaloupes, which makes it all the more unlikely that this somewhat small group of Pichu eating them would be a big or even noticeable issue for Charmaine.

- I do like how they assigned Pichu to be the protectors of the orchard and apple pickers to help Charmaine and earn their apples. I think it’s a bit cruel to keep calling on a Pokemon who hurt themselves when they attack to be guard Pokemon, but they’re not being forced into it I suppose.

- Charmaine: “*gasp* This is worse than Pokemon Poachers!”….They are poaching Pokemon – Pikachu. Unless you mean poachers who are Pokemon. You worded that badly, is what I’m saying.

- Jessie: “You may have experience, twerp, but you’ve never experienced anything like our Team Rocket Super Sucker!” Yes, Ash, you’ve never experienced anything like….a big vacuum. He’s been experiencing that same schtick off and on since The Water Flowers of Cerulean City.

James: “That’s right. Instead of blasting off, we’ll be sucking up!” I can’t stress enough how many inappropriate jokes I’m avoiding making during this whole segment. You’re welcome.

- Hey, Ash, you know those Pokemon who can pop balloons? You have two of them. Bulbasaur and Chikorita can use Razor Leaf on this balloon….Cyndaquil can probably reach it with fire…...THROW A POKEBALL, YOU USELESS DUNCE.

Yeah, it’s a matter of protecting the Pichu’s pride after a point, but he should’ve had Noctowl or Heracross out the instant they even got there. He let them nab Pikachu, steal its electricity, steal a ton of apples and have Pichu hurt themselves in an effort to protect the orchard…..AND THEN decided ‘maybe I should try another Pokemon.’

- No. No no no. There were about ten Pichu before now there’s like thirty to make this Pichain to Pikachu.

- I love how there is one Pichu who is noticeably much fatter than the others.

All in all, this episode was far from the atrocious pile of crap I feared it would be…..but damn it all it was hella boring. Charmaine’s boring, Team Rocket’s scheme was the same dog and pony show they always put on, the stakes weren’t that high (Team Rocket was really going to live on nothing but apples for months or years? Hope you like constipation.) and the story wasn’t interesting at all.  The conflict with the Pichu only stays a conflict for like a minute. Team Rocket is the main conflict of the episode and of course they’re going to blast off. I will give Ash major props for being the one to turn the Pichu into an asset rather than a liability, but I’d take it back just as quickly for another infuriating instance of him forgetting he has more Pokemon than Pikachu.

Next episode, Houndoom’s debut! (YAY!) but Togepi-centric…. (Booooo!)
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« Reply #4834 on: June 21, 2018, 02:04:42 pm »

Yesterday, I watched Trigun: Badlands Rumble - that Trigun movie they decided to make like 12 years after the end of the original series. In it, Vash seemingly 'dies' and after that happens, Wolfwood starts wearing his shades in tribute of his fallen friend before he and the main movie character, Amelia, confront the man who was responsible for killing him. Even though it's questionable whether this movie is canon to either the series or manga, in the anime, Vash starts carrying around Wolfwood's Punisher as a tribute to him after he dies right before he confronts Knives. The parallel. My heart explode.
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« Reply #4835 on: July 16, 2018, 08:47:10 am »

Been a little while again, so why not more random TV rants?

I was watching Naked and Afraid again, and they had this big burly bearded guy paired with this tough but spindly looking middle-aged woman. I forget what country they're in, but it's an arid desert area with lots of brush and a clean river complete with birds and fish. Easily one of the best survival spots they tend to have on the show. After a couple of nights, the guy decides to spend a day or so searching for a new shelter spot for damn near no reason. They have a good shelter and even have mosquito netting to keep bugs out, and the bugs aren't even bad despite the location, but the guy feels like he gets too cold at night, even though it hovers between 65 and 75 degrees at night and they have a fire.

He finally finds a spot, but the woman understandably just wants to use their last shelter spot since it was way better and closer to resources.

The next day, instead of doing something more necessary like gathering food, he decides the best course of action for his day will be to stand out in the blazing hot 95-100 degree sunlight for like 12 hours gathering firewood. Did I say 'gathering firewood'? I meant to say taking their machete and hacking through a big fallen tree like an idiot.

He's all 'if I get this log, we'll be set for firewood for the whole challenge' but he's completely ignoring that they're surrounded by plenty of usable branches and brush for firewood. Not to mention, what, are you just going to set the whole log on fire or do you intend on hacking the whole tree to bits for usable firewood? The whole time he's hacking at this log, the woman is collecting arm fulls of brush for firewood while warning the guy of sunburn and taking water breaks, which is a lot of restraint. He's wasting god knows how many calories and exhausting himself, not to mention putting their machete at risk, for this stupid and unnecessary venture. I'd have called him a massive idiot.

Late afternoon and he's finally gotten through it. He's all proud of himself, and he asks the woman to help him carry the log back to camp, which she does. They do their best to move the log, but it's way too heavy for them to carry back to camp. That night, he gets all pissy and even seems like he's going to blow up at her for not being strong enough to carry the massive log. Like, dude, how did it not cross your mind that the TREE would be heavy? That two exhausted and starving people would have difficult carrying this TREE back to camp?

And then he starts chucking firewood on their fire like it's going out of style, wasting a ton of firewood she collected herself. Either you're being vindictive, an idiot or a vindictive idiot. Unless you just get that cold at night, in which case maybe your survival item should've been a blankey.

The next day, he starts looking for food, which is the first logical decision I've seen him make the whole episode, but he's doing it so sloppily. He's just wandering around in the blazing heat. He's not scouting, he's not tracking, he's not checking the foliage for nests or fruits or berries, he's not trying to fish, he has not direction whatsoever. Meanwhile, the woman is making a fishing basket to catch fish in. She's also, again, warning him of sunburn and telling him to take water breaks and rest, but he will not listen. The whole time, I've not seen him take a single drink. He points out several times that he's frying himself, and he obviously is, but he won't go cool off in the river or keep to the shade. This moron is doing everything opposite of what an actual survivalist would do.

They get no food, and that night the guy starts acting really sick. His heartbeat is irregular and he's fading out of consciousness. The woman calls the medic, who diagnoses him with severe dehydration. He's so badly dehydrated that the medic can't administer an IV to get him fluids because his veins have collapsed.

I don't understand.

How do you get to such a point of dehydration that your veins are collapsing when clean, drinkable water is 20 yards away from your camp? How do you not notice that you're so dehydrated that it's making you ill? Earlier in the day, he had mentioned his heartbeat felt irregular. You'd think that would be a red flag to go get some water, but nope. It's like he's purposely avoiding drinking water because she keeps telling him to do it.

So many times on this show, the contestants will have difficulty finding a clean source of water. They almost always realize what a vital necessity it is to their survival because all living beings need water in order to survive, and you can't go very long without it. Their number one or two priority is finding water, because it doesn't matter if you're warm at night if your friggin' body turns to beef jerky.

How do you forget or ignore this fact at all, especially in a desert climate of all places? You complain about frying in the heat, you're causing yourself to sweat like a teenage boy discovering the child block password for the computer, yet you don't want to drink water? He never gives a reason why he's not drinking water, he just never does it. In addition to all of the reasons why the woman confirmed the water's clean, such as plenty of rocks for filtering, the clear appearance and lack of livestock or anything suspicious nearby, she has been drinking from this river the whole challenge and hasn't gotten sick. He has no reason to not do this.

How does this man survive in the real world, let alone in a survival situation? I was actually getting angry at how stupid this guy was being. I don't like thinking bad things about people who are ill, but the whole time this guy was being treated by the medic, I was verbally berating him through the TV. DUMB. DUMB. PERSON.

He's forced to tap out on day four, which I think is one of if not the fastest tap out time I've ever seen, and starts crying in the ambulance saying he hopes his daughter is still proud of him. She'll probably be proud of you for simply attempting it, but will be incredibly embarrassed by everything else. She'll probably have kids in school reminding her to drink water.

The woman goes on to complete the challenge alone, even in spite of two source of protein drawbacks (She lost a fish to the heat of the sun, and a toad she caught was poisonous.) She did manage to catch and eat a stingray all by herself, and knock down a wasp nest to eat the larvae, without stinging herself, which was awesome. Goes to show that you can't judge people by how they look. Spindly middle-aged woman > Big burly bearded man.

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