INVASION of teh POKERMON

[The_Mighty_Spriter]

Okay, I've been goen for a while, but entertaining this idea for years, so without further ado, I give you...

INVASION
of the
POKERMON

Prologue

Rustboro City Gym

Roxanne gritted her teeth.

"Shiiiiiiit..." she groaned under her breath.  A young boy stood across the arena from her--a YOungster, if she was not mistaken.  He looked like any other generic Youngster: black hair, backwards cap, always holding an empty Pokeball straight out from their body.  But his Pokeball was blue.  Not Great Ball blue.  Not Lure Ball blue.  Not even Net, Dive, or Quick Ball blue.  A shocking, electric blue.  But what the ball contained was even stranger.

The boy stood behind a Treecko.  A Treecko that had a regular-sized head, but a stickman's body.  It even had two curled lines on its butt for a stick tail.  Each body part besides the head was abotu as wide around as the pencil it could've been drawn with.  But the Treecko itself was not the problem for Roxanne.  The problem was that this thing had just decimated her Nosepass.

"One more, Roxanne," called teh boy.  "Choose wisely."

"I will," she said; she didn't.  Nothing else stood the slightest chance.  Except... "Onix, let's rock!"

Puns aside, the large rock snake took the field.  The boy seemed unfazed.

"Sticko, return!" he called.  A fitting nickname, Roxanne noted.  "Speendo, finish this!"

______________________

My apologies, I must finish later.  I haev to go, but there is much more...and an explanation.

This story will take the anime and GBA/DS characters you know and take them to new heights as you haev never imagined...just give me a while...

[Arctic master]

I'd offer critisizm, but right now, I gotta take a mondo s***... @_@"

There's only one word fitting to fit this bill. Or rather more three; WHAT THE F***?! Are Pokermon like Pokémon, except they're more badly drawn and, somehow, more powerful than those of the original? O-o It's only the Prologue, but I can, somehow, guess that godmod is at work on this story.

[The_Mighty_Spriter]

Jus tkeep grunting loudly Arty.  It'll pass.

I'm sorry, I know it was short.  It was liek 10:30 where I am, so I didn't have much time.  I still don't right now, though it is only 6:18.

Pokermon...are liek Pokemon, but from a different universe.  They have "Mythicals" instead of Legendaries, and it's just like one big parody.  i.e., Lombre's Pokermon equivalent is a zombie, Zombre.  LIkewise, Regice is nwo Regispice, a large salt shaker.  Anyhoo, a basic plot outline is that a rift has opened betweeen teh Pokemon world and the Pokermon world, and somehow the Pokermon are very threatening in a way that has yet to be figured out.  I could use some help on that (coughcoughArtycough)

I'll post more REEEELY soon, promise.

[Arctic master]

*blink, blink* Don't look at me. You're writing it. =/

Since I don't have a full bladder anymore, I can critisize properly.

... It needs to begin.

... yeah, that's it.

[The_Mighty_Spriter]

Told you.

Eewww, Arty, it's your bowels that crap, not your bladder...that's a nasty thought...*shudders*

Anyways, here's the rest of the prologue...or as much as i can get out.

____________________
Prologue (cont'd)

The name "Speendo" sounded almost exactly like "Spinda," and Roxanne was totally ready to crush a tiny Spot Panda--but that was not the case.  As the boy threw his shock-blue Pokeball, the Rustboro Gym Leader was exposed to something most Trainers should ever have to see.

Standing before her was a massive bear.  A panda, in fact.  It was even the smae colors as Spinda, with a relatively similar sop pattern--but no swirls clouded this creature's eyes.  It only had patches of fur on its head and paws, otherwise it was completely bald.  The only other covering it had was...well, a Speedo 'round the waist.  Roxanne was happy to see THAT covered up.  The final notable thing abotu Speendo, besides the fact that it was six feet tall, was that it had a five foot bamboo pole that it held as a weapon, facing Onix menacingly.  It held out two fingers and motioned Onix to come forwards and attack.
______________________

I'm SORRY!  Mom is making me go to bed...I'm really sorry, btu I'll be able to post again Thursday, and it'll be longer, I promise.  Hopefully I'll actually finish the prologue, but it's kind of long...3 gym battles in 3 regions...but I'm rilly sry I gotta go

[Arctic master]

*blink, blink* Bowels, bladder; still organs below the belt. You know what I meant. ^^;

Maybe you should put it all on Word or Notepad to hold it in place, so you're not submitting bits and pieces of the story. I kid you not; soon it'll be annoying to scroll down the bits and pieces of the story. It's better to post it all in one shot, than to post it all separately.

[The_Mighty_Spriter]

The idea is that I don't have a lot of computer time.  You maight be able to plan for consistent updates n Monday, possibly on tuesday and occcasionally on Thursday.  Almost never on Wednesday, though.  Maybe some on weekends, when I'm not busy.

again, sorry...but it'll be worth it, I promise

[Arctic master]

Hey, I never promise ANYTHING, but I still try to keep it in one messy, clean post. ^^; Which is why I suggested you posted it on Wordpad or some sort of program that allows you to save your work, before you post it. That way, you can post it all on one shot, rather than put it all in pieces. Because I hate having to have to swim my way through posts to read the story, possibly passing part of it, due to all the swimming.

[The_Mighty_Spriter]

Here it is, the first long(ish) update
______________________

Onix rose its mighty head high, then plunged it downwards in an axe-like maneuver.  The Speendo jumped nimbly out of the way, landing neatly a few feet away.  Onix returned ot its starting position, as did teh large panda.  The Trainer opposite Roxanne sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Speendo, just use Wedgie Dance and let's get the hell out of here."

The teacher in Roxanne wanted to say "watch your language" but decided against it, instead watching in confusion as Speendo began to sway its large hips back and forth, pulling the back of its Speedo up and dancing in swaying, strange circles around and around Onix.  The Rock Snake's body thrashed around in mild disturbance, and it fell drooling to the ground, half of its brain almost melted, but merely reduced to a squishy, jello-like state.

Roxanne handed the odd boy his badge and recalled Onix, but before she could ask him what had happened, he was gone.
*****
In another region, Morty was having problems in his own gym.  Two young girls had entered and requested a double battle.  MOrty had been really bored as of late, so he had agreed.  No longer was he bored; in all honesty, Morty was having a nervous breakdown.  It had originally been a three-on-three match, but after having Haunter, one Genger and one Misdreavus downed in one hit (one each, you dolt, not three at once), he had changed it to a five-on-five.  Why?  Because he can.  PWN3D.

One Misdreavus and one Gengar remained.  Morty bit his knuckle to keep from crying.  The two girls--a redhead and a brunette--had nto lost a single Pokemon.  If you could even call them Pokemon.  Their Pokeballs were brightest blue, and from them came the weirdest things Morty had ever seen.  The first was "Pepsion" ehich basically looked like a tin can with catlike legs and Espeon's head.  It had no tail, and its jewel was replaced by a pop can tab.  That was teh brunette's--the redhead's was even stranger.  "Umbrellon," she called it.  It wsa a black doggish looking thing, with one white band around each of its four thighs and three on its tail.  Morty couldn't tell what its head looked like, because he couldn't see it under the large umbrella on top of its neck.  All he could see were two white eyes staring at him through the shadow underneath.

"G-gengar," Morty stammered, "Use Sh-shadow Ball on...umm...P-p-pepsion!  You too, Misd-dreavus!"

"Gyennn...GARR!" snickered Gengar, summoning a Shadow Ball attack and hurling it at the tin can thing.  Misdreavus did the same, and the thing finally fell down.  Morty wiped sweat off fo his face in relief.  They were mortal.

"Pepsion, I recall you!" called the brunette.  She smirked, and threw another blue Pokeball.  "Dungsparce, let's get going!"

A big Dunsparce-shaped shadow appeared on the floor, btu when the light faded, Morty nearly pissed his pants right then.  The thing looked liek a Dunsparce.  It moved liek a Dunsparce.  It even tried to lift itself on its two tiny wings like a Dunsparce.  But the color was all wrong--a deep, muddy green-brown--and the smell...

Oh, God, the smell.

The two girls whipped clothespins out of nowhere, plugging their noses while Morty sank to his knees in anguish, his eyes watering like ten thousand onions were being peeled before him.  Genger and Misdreavus writhed in agony, and fell to teh floor unconscious, as did eve nthe unstoppable Umbrellon, who singlehandedly had taken down one Gengar and Haunter without breaking a sweat.  All Pokemon were withdrawn--Morty found the girls pulling two badges from his coat pocket, then steping through the invisible floor and swaggering gracefully out into Ecruteak City.  Morty fell forward through the floor, and landed on his face near the entrance.
__________________________
Prologue second half coming soon, I promise.

[Arctic master]

Heheh. xD The smell of a Dungsparce. Oh man, that was rich. Amazing how one letter can turn an annoying Pokémon to a smelly and annoying one. The fuinniest line in the story, so far.

Wait... You're STILL in the prologue?! O_o" *falls out*

[The_Mighty_Spriter]

The prologue involves three gym battles and a phone call.  But I'm only on for a short while now, so I can't post.  If I finish my Science homework tomorrow, I'll probably post more.

[Arctic master]

May I offer some advice? PUT IT ON A DOCUMENT, SO YOU CAN POST IT ALL ON ONE BLOW! The fic's not going to run off, if you don't check on it every now and again. =/

[The_Mighty_Spriter]

Prologue, part two, right here, right now.  I would've had it sooner,m but our whole computer network screwed up and I couldn't even save it to Word.
______________________________________

Giovanni, who seemed like a tough, composed person on the outside, was holding back tears.  He was in the middle of a full six-on-six battle with the toughest trainer he had ever met.  The POkeballs he used were blue, and from the first one he threw came a Jynx with a cat's body, with a large chunk missing fro mthe center of the head, where any traditional Jynx's nose would've been.  As it were, the thing had sat there, flicking its tail around lazily, its cat ears and whiskers standing out like a blue Voltorb.  As if Jynx didn't look enough like a **** already.

The "Sphynx" as it was called had decimated Giovanni's Nidoqueen, Cloyster, and Machamp, before his Persian had finally worn it out wth four Power Gems and a Night Slash.

"Okay, Giovanni, are you ready?" called the burly man across the stadium.

"R-ready f-f-for wh-what?" stammered Giovanni, fearing the worst.  He wasn't too far off.

"That was just a warm-up!" laughed his opponent.  "Brace yourself!  C'mon, Fragmentite!"

Giovanni instinctively cowered behind one hand, expecting something large and formidable.  He was wrong.  A flash of green light, and a small triangular piece of metal sat on the ground almost motionless, except for one tiny screw clanking around in a hole near the wide end.  About halfway down the object, the metal turned white, and ended in a narrow, lethal-looking point.

"What does that thing do?" wondered Giovanni out loud.  His Persian sat on its haunches and licked oen paw, bored.

"I'll show you.  Fragmentite, Surrounding Ensemble!"

The metal bit shuddered violently, then began to hop around on the ground.  As it did so, pieces of dirt and cement from the gym floor broke off and attached themselves together to form a body.  When the dust and smoke had cleared, there stood teh body...the body of a Machamp.

With a Magnemite head.  Giovanni could see the cracks between each individual fragment, all the was up past the four earthy arms and into teh face, where the tiny scrap of metal sat snugly, the only other color besides brown.  The monster cracked its rocky knuckles, and faced Persian, braced for action.  The Classy Cat stood up and hissed at it.

"Persian, Aerial Ace!" ordered the Leader, hoping to take advantage of the 'Champ's Fighting type.

"Fragmentite, use Smackdown!" called out the man, and the Machamp thing lumbered out to meet Persian in the middle of the field, where it grabbed one hand inside another and brought them down on Persian's back.  There was an ominous cracking noise, and Persian lay unconscious, but alive, on the ground.  Giovanni hiccoughed a small sob, and withdrew the cat.

"You...I'm gonna hurt you...Nidoking, let's get this over!"

The big purple dinosaur, who beared no resemblence to Barney, stomped its feet and roared.  "KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGG!"

"Earthquake!  Blow that thing to pieces!"

Nidoking did exactly as ordered.  It jumped four feet high, then brought its full weight onto the ground, sending a shockwave directly at the beast.  The ground underfoot shook vigorously, and blew up in a three-foot circle around Fragmentite.  The...thing...was literally blown to bits, and teh tiny fragment of metal shot straight up and buried itself in the ceiling.  The powerful Trainer recalled it, and just as nonchalantly tossed out another blue ball.  "Colduck, out!"

In the time it took Giovanni to realize that this Golduck must have come from the depths of the Seafoam Islands to be completely made of ice, it had already dispatched Nidoking with one well-placed 'Freezy Beam.'  Giovanni chose his last Pokemon wisely--Rhydon, the most powerful Pokemon he had ever had--except Mewtwo, but that was long past.

"Colduck, finish it!  Single-Edge!"  The crystalline blue duck ran across the field, glowing bright yellow, cleaving a streak through the gym.  Before Rhydon coudl think, it had made contact--

The attack backfired, sending Colduck hurtling across teh arena to crash into the opposite wall.  The trademark spirals appeared where its eyes were glowing red in the ice, though the spirals curved in the opposite direction.  Angrily, teh opposing man withdrew the ducksicle.

"Goddamnit," he swore, "tough luck.  Next up...out, Charizlard!"

He threw another Pokeball, and the green light formed into a normal-looking Charizard that looked liek it had just swallowed a Wailmer.  A seven-foot-diameter stomach was centered exactly in the anatomy of the dragon, whose wings somehow managed to hold it about four and a half feet off of the ground.

"Rhydon, Thunderbolt!" cried Giovanni desperately, trying to keep Rhydon as far away from the lard bucket as he could.  The Drill Pokemon conjured a mouth of lightning, but Charizlard dodged it easily.

"Now, Charizlard!" called the Trainer, "Omega Fatty-Man Power Drive!"

The dragon didn't say a word, just curled up into a ball and sped across the stadium liek a big orange reptilian bowling ball.  Rhydon instinctively summoned a shower of rocks from the ceiling, all of them narrowly missing.  Charizlard was upon Rhydon, who cowered--and a lucky rock hit the fatso in the head, knocking it out cold.  Giovanni sighed in relief, then nearly crapped himself as teh man smirked.

"you've done well--but your victories end here.  I call upon Talosazam!" roared the man.  From a blue ball--bigger than teh others--flashed a light of deeper green, and Giovanni really did crap himself right then and there.

A huge robot Alakazam--at least twenty feet tall, with glowing red eyes and even two very rusty spoons--towered over the Drill Pokemon, who had the same bowel movement as Giovanni did.  Shoddily-constructed parts could be heard clanking around inside of the robot, and there was an electronic hum in the air.  Giovanni stood speechless, unable to think of what the hell could save him now.  He didn't have to think much longer.

"Talosazam, Spoon thwack!"

The robot's arm joint groaned as it lowered a giant spoon to Rhydon's head.  The Rock type sweat-dropped, then was pounded liek a nail into the ground by a telekinetically-bent spoon.  Giovanni recalled it, as Talosazam vanished in a green flash.

"What the hell--"

"I'm not going to explain it now, because Rhydon **** really smells," interrupted the man.  "If you'll give me my badge, please..."

"What?  Oh, yes, of course."  Giovanni tossed him an Earth Badge, which he pinned onto his shirt as he turned and walked between the statues.

"Wait!" called Giovanni, running after him.  "What were those thing you battled with?  I've never seen Pokemon like--"

"Whoa whoa whoa, buddy," said the man.  "Pokemon?  Pokemon are for wimps.  I dumped those things a long time ago.  Pokermon are in now."

"Poker--what?" puzzled Giovanni.

"Look, I don't have time for this.  I'll tell you this, though."  He looked Giovanni square in teh eye with all seriousness.  "The invasion is coming, Giovanni.  You would do best to succumb to it now, before it is too late."

The man walked through the doors and was gone, leaving Giovanni as lost and confused as he had ever been.
___________________________
Final short addition to prologue soon, prob not this weekend but who knows.

[Arctic master]

YES! THE LAZY BA-I MEAN SPRITER ACTUALLY TOOK MY ADVICE! *laughs maniacally, then dies*

And wow, Pokermon are powerful. Hopefully, a good trainer should be able to fight back, to keep Pokémon from being completely booted out by the Pokermon.

[The_Mighty_Spriter]

No, Arty, simply had some time on my hands.

In the game that I don't know how to create, Surrounding Ensemble would analyze the opponent's primary type and create a body for Fragmentite that has an advantage over that type.

Single Edge is liek Double Edge, but it could hit either Pokemon--the attacking or the target--with the power of Stone Edge.

Omega Fatty-Man Power Drive is a rolling attack that does more damage the larger the attacker is.