The Wish Corrupter!

[Picard]

Granted, but it requires you to have some kinda ball which is ancient and impossible to find.

I wish I knew what chickens are saying.

[DarkToph]

Granted, but you can also hear what chicken nuggets are saying and you're scarred for life.

I wish I could hear what ice cream is saying.

[Picard]

Granted, but all you hear are screams.

I wish I could eat metal.

[DarkToph]

Granted, you eat the hardware of your computer and suffer from Aisen Deficiency.

I wish I could cure DB of Aisen Deficiency.

[Picard]

Granted, but now I am Iron Man.

I wish I didn't create Ultron.

[DarkToph]

Granted, instead you created Buttron, which is much worse.

I wish it didn't smell like butt.

[Kenji]

Granted, you smell like urine instead.

I wish urine smelled pleasant.

[Picard]

Granted, but now everyone has a pee fetish.

I wish I have a wish.

[Mightymike]

You have a wish.

I wish north Korea wouldn't bomb America.

[DarkToph]

Granted, they bomb somewhere else to vent their frustrations and we retaliate because that's what we're doing now and everything becomes a huge mess.

I wish everything won't become a huge mess.

[Picard]

Granted, they're now a huge organized chaos.

I wish Star Wars Episode 8 would arrive already.

[DarkToph]

Granted, it arrives in one theater and no one is told which one.

I wish I knew where the theater was.

[Picard]

Granted, but it's closed down.

I wish Luke would tell me that he is my father.

[Mightymike]

Granted but he is ashamed of you.

I wish I could use the force.

[Picard]

Granted, but you can only force farts out of your butt.

I wish I have a big butt.