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 on: July 16, 2018, 08:47:10 am 
Started by DarkToph - Last post by DarkToph
Been a little while again, so why not more random TV rants?

I was watching Naked and Afraid again, and they had this big burly bearded guy paired with this tough but spindly looking middle-aged woman. I forget what country they're in, but it's an arid desert area with lots of brush and a clean river complete with birds and fish. Easily one of the best survival spots they tend to have on the show. After a couple of nights, the guy decides to spend a day or so searching for a new shelter spot for damn near no reason. They have a good shelter and even have mosquito netting to keep bugs out, and the bugs aren't even bad despite the location, but the guy feels like he gets too cold at night, even though it hovers between 65 and 75 degrees at night and they have a fire.

He finally finds a spot, but the woman understandably just wants to use their last shelter spot since it was way better and closer to resources.

The next day, instead of doing something more necessary like gathering food, he decides the best course of action for his day will be to stand out in the blazing hot 95-100 degree sunlight for like 12 hours gathering firewood. Did I say 'gathering firewood'? I meant to say taking their machete and hacking through a big fallen tree like an idiot.

He's all 'if I get this log, we'll be set for firewood for the whole challenge' but he's completely ignoring that they're surrounded by plenty of usable branches and brush for firewood. Not to mention, what, are you just going to set the whole log on fire or do you intend on hacking the whole tree to bits for usable firewood? The whole time he's hacking at this log, the woman is collecting arm fulls of brush for firewood while warning the guy of sunburn and taking water breaks, which is a lot of restraint. He's wasting god knows how many calories and exhausting himself, not to mention putting their machete at risk, for this stupid and unnecessary venture. I'd have called him a massive idiot.

Late afternoon and he's finally gotten through it. He's all proud of himself, and he asks the woman to help him carry the log back to camp, which she does. They do their best to move the log, but it's way too heavy for them to carry back to camp. That night, he gets all pissy and even seems like he's going to blow up at her for not being strong enough to carry the massive log. Like, dude, how did it not cross your mind that the TREE would be heavy? That two exhausted and starving people would have difficult carrying this TREE back to camp?

And then he starts chucking firewood on their fire like it's going out of style, wasting a ton of firewood she collected herself. Either you're being vindictive, an idiot or a vindictive idiot. Unless you just get that cold at night, in which case maybe your survival item should've been a blankey.

The next day, he starts looking for food, which is the first logical decision I've seen him make the whole episode, but he's doing it so sloppily. He's just wandering around in the blazing heat. He's not scouting, he's not tracking, he's not checking the foliage for nests or fruits or berries, he's not trying to fish, he has not direction whatsoever. Meanwhile, the woman is making a fishing basket to catch fish in. She's also, again, warning him of sunburn and telling him to take water breaks and rest, but he will not listen. The whole time, I've not seen him take a single drink. He points out several times that he's frying himself, and he obviously is, but he won't go cool off in the river or keep to the shade. This moron is doing everything opposite of what an actual survivalist would do.

They get no food, and that night the guy starts acting really sick. His heartbeat is irregular and he's fading out of consciousness. The woman calls the medic, who diagnoses him with severe dehydration. He's so badly dehydrated that the medic can't administer an IV to get him fluids because his veins have collapsed.

I don't understand.

How do you get to such a point of dehydration that your veins are collapsing when clean, drinkable water is 20 yards away from your camp? How do you not notice that you're so dehydrated that it's making you ill? Earlier in the day, he had mentioned his heartbeat felt irregular. You'd think that would be a red flag to go get some water, but nope. It's like he's purposely avoiding drinking water because she keeps telling him to do it.

So many times on this show, the contestants will have difficulty finding a clean source of water. They almost always realize what a vital necessity it is to their survival because all living beings need water in order to survive, and you can't go very long without it. Their number one or two priority is finding water, because it doesn't matter if you're warm at night if your friggin' body turns to beef jerky.

How do you forget or ignore this fact at all, especially in a desert climate of all places? You complain about frying in the heat, you're causing yourself to sweat like a teenage boy discovering the child block password for the computer, yet you don't want to drink water? He never gives a reason why he's not drinking water, he just never does it. In addition to all of the reasons why the woman confirmed the water's clean, such as plenty of rocks for filtering, the clear appearance and lack of livestock or anything suspicious nearby, she has been drinking from this river the whole challenge and hasn't gotten sick. He has no reason to not do this.

How does this man survive in the real world, let alone in a survival situation? I was actually getting angry at how stupid this guy was being. I don't like thinking bad things about people who are ill, but the whole time this guy was being treated by the medic, I was verbally berating him through the TV. DUMB. DUMB. PERSON.

He's forced to tap out on day four, which I think is one of if not the fastest tap out time I've ever seen, and starts crying in the ambulance saying he hopes his daughter is still proud of him. She'll probably be proud of you for simply attempting it, but will be incredibly embarrassed by everything else. She'll probably have kids in school reminding her to drink water.

The woman goes on to complete the challenge alone, even in spite of two source of protein drawbacks (She lost a fish to the heat of the sun, and a toad she caught was poisonous.) She did manage to catch and eat a stingray all by herself, and knock down a wasp nest to eat the larvae, without stinging herself, which was awesome. Goes to show that you can't judge people by how they look. Spindly middle-aged woman > Big burly bearded man.

 on: June 23, 2018, 07:52:42 pm 
Started by Malibu - Last post by Picard
You pretend that nothing happened and it's business as usual.

When life gives you Luke Cage...

 on: June 23, 2018, 07:52:13 pm 
Started by Psycho French Horn Almighty God of Soccer Tennis Bugler - Last post by Picard

 on: June 23, 2018, 07:51:53 pm 
Started by Weirdo - Last post by Picard

 on: June 23, 2018, 07:51:43 pm 
Started by DarkToph - Last post by Picard
I believe I can fly!

 on: June 23, 2018, 07:51:25 pm 
Started by DarkToph - Last post by Picard
Can I speak to you for a moment about the Bayleaf in our Lord and Savior, Arceus?

 on: June 23, 2018, 07:49:52 pm 
Started by Oyashiro-sama - Last post by Picard
Granted. He's now Grimace. Y'know, that McDonald's mascot.

I wish I have some noodles.

 on: June 23, 2018, 07:49:05 pm 
Started by Picard - Last post by Picard

 on: June 23, 2018, 07:31:12 pm 
Started by America - Last post by Picard

 on: June 23, 2018, 07:30:34 pm 
Started by Isaac Cruz - Last post by Picard
Woah, over a month-long before I get a response!

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